Psychic Powers

I went and saw a psychic today. I wanted to see if I could be a believer. My mum has always been very into that sort of thing and I always had reservations. No one can know the future right? Can spirits really come through to speak to me? 

I went into the session full of life and energy, yet I came out flat, with almost more questions then what I went in with.  I’m not sure what I was expecting to hear. I think it was just reassurance that I would be ok. That the picture in my head of how this will work out is what’s going to happen?  

I heard all about my life. In fact everything that was said was uplifting and it made me excited to get to those moments in the future. When? How? Who? It felt positive and exciting. 

And then I heard about him and where life will take him. If only he could have been there to listen to the warning bells ringing for life ahead. Things I did want to hear and things I didn’t, because at the end of the day his life is just that, his and I am slowly realising I am much better off and happier without him. 

Yet, other things weren’t what I wanted to or expected to hear. It has flattened me, it has made me think about the people who have passed and reflect on moments in my life that I remember them by, happy moments as a family. 

I connected with someone who I was very close to and the girls adored from his side of the family. I was reminded by her warmth, her gentle soul and she sent her sadness at the change in our life. It made me disappointed. Disappointed we or more he, has let so many people down, those here and those gone, who were a part of our life together. 

I got information about my girls, about their personalities and I felt reassurance on the job I’m doing with them. Yet there was more I was waiting for. 

My older brother passed away in 2011, at the age of 25. It was unexpected and the pain was excruciating. We were extremely close growing up and there isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think about him and what a brilliant uncle he would be to my girls. How he would be here protecting me and kicking arse on those who have hurt me.

He was big, strong and tough. Covered in tattoos and often got himself into trouble. He had the most infectious laugh and the most hilarious dance moves. He taught me to let go and enjoy myself, not to worry about what people thought of me, that life’s too short. 

I wanted him to come through and be there. I wanted her to acknowledge his presence and for her to tell me something that only he and I would understand so I could believe. I felt disappointed that he wasn’t mentioned and I desperately needed more. 

All in all, it brought some comfort but it also brought pain. Am I a believer? I’m not sure yet, let’s wait till midyear and see what comes my way. 

 

10 thoughts on “Psychic Powers

  1. I know that feeling exactly … this entire situation sends you on a path of discovery and searching but it will lead you to so many good things too. Even though you didn’t feel the way you had hoped it’s another time of reflection of deeper thought and more awareness. You are on that path to better and you are doing really well. You really will feel fully good again all in time.

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  2. I’ve really feel for you as you go through this experience…I went through this 15 years ago and never thought I’d smile or be happy again but you do, eventually… the huge positive for you as you go through each cycle of grief is that you come through the other side, having dealt with all the aspects of the break up, a whole & healed person. But the other person that just moves on to a new situation without honestly dealing with the previous relationship first. They don’t learn why things changed and usually stays the same selfish man that will make the same mistakes again. Stay strong, you are doing everything right and it’s not your fault that he wasn’t man enough to do the decent thing ….

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  3. Thanks for your post going through the same thing and I have been also thinking of going to a psychic…probably in a way of reassurance that I am doing the right thing..

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  4. Thankyou for your blog. I’ve just stumbled here and I’m loving that you are open enough to voice an experience that many of us share. Don’t worry about the tough times. We’re all here for you.

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  5. A beautiful lady will always come out on top. One day you will see that this was the best thing that ever happened to you. You will grow into an even more amazing woman and find real love. Love that doesn’t walk away from his wife and children for the next pretty face. You deserve better than an immature man who doesn’t understand commitment and doesn’t care about the damage he has done to his family. He will be truly sorry for what he has done and lost. I wish you and your girls the best. Stay strong, you can do this x

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  6. I am so sorry that you have been wounded by the betrayal of your partner. I can’t begin to imagine the pain of the hurt of infidelity and dishonesty, although I walked with my sister through a similar situation and witnessed her intense heartbreak.
    You do have someone who loves you and that is Jesus. He says “Come to me all you who are weary and heavy-burdened and you shall find rest for your souls”.
    He is as close as the mention of His name.
    Take care 💕

    Liked by 1 person

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